The Men from Atlantis Communiqués

I am so tired of people who deserve credit being portrayed as villains and villains being portrayed as heroes. Yeah, i,m talking to you, Krys Kringal, or should I say operative CH7916A-BD, codename:”Santa Claus”? Here are Joe and I, a couple of honest, hardworking flim-flam artists, just trying to get by and make a living. while saving the world to boot, I might add, and do we get ant positive press? NNNOOO!!! But the fat guy in the red suit who goes all over the world in one night to pass out toys to children FOR FREE is somehow lauded with saintly-status!? I mean, What the hell!? Just let me explain it to you..
Many millenia ago Atlantis and her Zeta-Reticulan trading partners were the foes of the Lemurians and their Alpha-Draconian allies. Atlantis had a lesser island nation as a trading partner, because Atlantis rocked and it was kewl. Now Lemuria, on the other hand, had no other allies, since, as every Atlantean school child can tell you, Lemuria sucks! Due to the paranoia and suspicion of the Lemurians, and their expansionist designs on areas that Atlantis had already overrun and colonized fair and square, it was necessary for our benevolent dictatorship to put up a stern and preemptive defense to this threat. Millions of gold sovereigns were spent to finance this stop-hit defensive strike, but as it turned out, all the research, training and weapons advances proved to be completely unnecessary when the Lemurians allies, The Snake-men of Alpha Draconia, bumbled a little science experiment at their Lemurian research base and vaporized a large portion of the Island-continent before we could do it!
While it was good news that our foes had defeated themselves, their fork-tongued allies blamed our ally, and claimed that the explosion was a result of Irish terrorists making a suicide attack on Lemuria. Of course the gullible Lemurian public was only too ready to swallow this load of bilge water, and soon the Alpha-Draconian Intelligence service was landing in Lemuria, and their shape-shifting agents were sent to the far corners of the world to infiltrate and slow the advance of civilization and population growth as much as possible, without blowing their cover. For more on this, see my previous post on St. Patty’s Day.
Anyway, Krys Kringal had been a highly trained commando and special forces agent during the cold war with Lemuria, but now that fair Atlantis faced the even more dire threat of shape-changed snake men infiltrators, he switched his most elite operatives over to a new role as assassins, spy’s and infiltration and sabotage experts. These men were the Elite Lemurian Fighters (ELF, for short) and they carried out any mission Krys set them to with ruthless efficiency. This small force was responsible the stamping-out of more snakes than the Atlantean army, treasury, and St. Patty, combined

All the agents were given nano-implants which enhanced their speed, strength, hearing and vision, including the addition of infravision, ultravision, x-ray vision and radar vision, thus allowing them to see through any disguise or spell; to be able to look at a person and know if they are sick or well, tired or rested, bad or good, human, eben, atlantean, lemurian or ophidian reptoid. They can tell by your pulse, respiration, body temperature, eye movement, body posture (and voice stress analysis processors) if you are lying to them or telling the truth. They have performed long term missions on the surface world at various times, but usually congregate around their base and do the bidding of and protect their ruthless leader, Krys. His designation is “The Boss”, but his actual title is Supreme leader of the Atlantean NanoTech Agents, or S.A.N.T.A, for short. Krys, as their leader was given even more additional upgrades including a localized temporal displacement generator and an anti-gravity generator and vibrational frequency phase-shifter, to allow Krys to pass through solid objects. This package of hardware is called the Cyborg Lone Assault & Undercover Surveillance package, or C.L.A.U.S., for short.
Once the snake-men were disposed of, Krys was reassigned to spy on the air-breathers and keep records of their advancements and intrigues for later analysis. This was about a thousand years ago, so Krys used the Image illusion projectors built into his S.A.N.T.A. suit to project his appearance as that of an elderly and overweight Nordic sleigh-driver, a perfect nondescript cover for the day and place. Definitely looks out of place now, though. Old Krys could use the powers at his disposal to penetrate the dwellings of any human effortlessly. He needed to put one or several microscopic viewing and listening devices in each home, and to make their hiding places mobile and inconspicuous, he settled on the idea of making some cheaply produced second-rate toys, and hiding one remote viewer/listening “bug” in each toy, knowing how children’s toys tend to end up all over the place. He has been doing this for centuries now, and the penetration of his insidious spy network is so complete that he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows if you’re laying there pretending to be asleep, but actually awake, His omnipresent cameras and sensors allow him to know if you are lying to your grandma about being bad or good, and his database and storage capacity is ridiculous, so you better avoid all toys, for goodness sake.

This went on for a long time until a snake man agent, who had managed to work his way up to posing as a Bishop amongst his human hierarchy, caught wind of what Agent Krys had been up to. He began to perform a similar tactic, hiding a bug in a gold coin, (an object no human could resist, he reasoned,) and leaving the coin in the shoe of the potential surveillance target. This plan failed however, because although the coins were pretty irresistible, most people went right out and spent them, thus diminishing their usefulness a tracking or monitoring devices. So, the snake man decided to copy Krys’ plan exactly and bug and deliver toy/monitoring devices to the children of Europe to start with. He established his first base in the Netherlands, where he operated under the codename “Sinterklaas”, a name which could easily be confused with Santa Claus, but actually is a derisive term in the Alpha Draconian language, roughly translatable as “he who hornswoggles greedy bumpkins” if my translation program can be trusted. Thanks to heavy bribes to the Germans, who harassed Agent Krys and his E.L.F.-troopers until they were forced to leave the continent and take up residence first in Iceland and later in Greenland, Agent Krys was almost put out of action. But then help came to Krys from an unexpected quarter.
Ascended masters from the hollow inner earth made contact with Krys and the Vikings in the area, a group already hard-pressed by the frigid winters and now under attack by snake-man agents and their hypnotically controlled Eskimo slaves, which they had sent against the Viking settlers in huge massed attacks. The heroic settlers had fought valiantly, but were now given the option of moving to a place of safety. So it was that they followed krys north, ever north, until they arrived at the polar opening and went over to the inner side of the earths crust, to dwell in this hot-house and gorgeous utopia from then on. In order to lead the vikings north, Krys had reconfigured the cloaking shield on his Atlantean flying saucer, and he managed to tie the shields in with the ships hologram projectors, in order to make the saucer invisible, but also to project a hologram of the local mode of transport- a reindeer-drawn sleigh- on the bottom of the saucer. It was a simple matter to convince the locals that he was a wizard and that the same powers which gave him a flying sleigh were also able to contact the Ascended masters of the Hollow Earth and garner their aid!
Anyway, now that he didn’t have to be on the defensive all the time, he went back over to the offensive, with gusto! The entire S.A.N.T.A. unit was relocated to the hollow earth, and soon the snake-men were once again on the run. The final battle between Santa Claus and the treacherous and vile Sinterklaas, took place after the legion of Yule was finally stamped out by S.A.N.T.A.s E.L.F.-troopers, who bombed their barracks in the middle of the night. These poor unfortunates were the bad children which were taken away by Sinterklaas Dark Helper, a vile being who kidnaps and then brainwashes and retrains children to be the soulless shock-troops of the sinister Sinterklaas! With these suicidal legions out of the way, Santa Claus pressed a one on one attack against Sinterklaas! Santa’s heroic ELF-troopers held off the attacks of the witch-hunters, another group secretly controlled by the ruthlessly evil Sinterklaas, while Agent Krys tried to prevent his foe from unleashing a dreadful biological weapon, a rat bomb. although Santa was successful in finally slaying the evil impostor Sinterklaas, his vizier ‘father Christmas” and the dreaded Dark Helper, he could not stop the rat bomb from detonating, and Constantinople became the birthplace of the black death, another misery unleashed upon the surface-dwellers by the Lemurians allies, the snake-men!
Since then Agent Krys has continued to spy on the surface world- a world blissfully ignorant of the true nature of the jolly fat guy and his secret-agent agenda. So this guy, who spies on the surface world, has a personal hit squad, ordered the execution of hypnotically-controlled Eskimo slaves and soulless mind-controlled kinder shock-troops alike, hides out at a secret base in the hollow inner earth, and does nothing to help the flagging world economy (remember, he MAKES the toys and GIVES them away, doing nothing to put money back in the economy) is lionized as a hero and role model for children and adults alike! Meanwhile we, a couple of hard-working Atlanteans, selflessly and for no gain of our own , try to save the world, not spy on it or assassinate political and military enemies like Krys did, and what do we get? Ignored or laughed at! Well I’ve had enough of this preposterous Santa propaganda, and I have just set the record straight. The rest is up to you.
If you want to aid Agent Krys in his plan to monitor and control the world, just let your kids write him a letter and ask for bugging devices disguised as toys. If, on the other hand, you are a patriot and conscientious parent who doesn’t want their child to grow up greedy and materialistic and doesn’t want to help foreign powers watch and track their every move, fill those Christmas stockings with Deeds to Atlantis! This will prevent war, help shore up the world economy (thanks to your spending), foil the plans of foreign agents to spy upon you and help clean up and protect the environment and the worlds oceans for future generations! And, ultimately, which present says I love you and Merry Christmas with more honesty and integrity, that or some lousy plastic toy which will break in two weeks and then be tossed in a dump where it will NEVER biodegrade? The answer is obvious, so BUY ATLANTIS and MERRY CHRISTMAS to one and all!
Hugh Mann