The Men from Atlantis Communiqués

I recently noticed a new program on the History Channel entitled “U.F.O.Hunters”. Many questions come to mind when confronted with such a strange program title. Needless to say, I have not, as of yet actually viewed this program. Things which I would like to know, however, include the following:
1) What, exactly, are these hunters using for a weapon? Since we Atlanteans are all too painfully aware, you air-breathers are woefully lacking in any technology capable of actually shooting down a flying saucer; just what is it that these hunters are doing? Using a large net? Are they whistling and waving to the UFO to attract its attention? Are they using bait to draw in a UFO? JUST WHAT IS THIS BAIT? Is it an unconscious person lying on the ground on a huge banner saying “abduct me” and the person in question having their bare buttocks exposed with a tattoo and arrow on them which reads INSERT PROBE HERE? Assuming they entice a UFO to land how are they going to capture it? Perhaps a 50 foot diameter titanium bear-trap, attached to the ground, and suitably camouflaged lies just beneath the “bait”. Maybe they have the ground covered with thousands of no-pest strips with a new extra strong adhesive to hold their quarry in place. I simply don’t know.
2) Who regulates this sport, the DNR? Do they have an actual license for this or is it considered an add on for the upland bird hunting license, and if so, do you purchase a “saucer stamp” to attach to it? What exactly is the daily/yearly bag limit for saucers? Who gets the money collected from these licenses? Are such revenues used to protect the habitat and natural environment of the saucers? If so, how are these funds transferred to Alpha Draconia, Zeta Reticuli and other natural saucer habitats? If not, what are the funds used for? Purchasing cigar companies in Cuba?
3) What is done with a captured saucer, were one so lucky as to actually capture one? Is there some recipe for cooking these things and making a roast, stew or chili from them? Or are they just destined to be trophies; stuffed and mounted on a truly gigantic mantle above some enormous fire place! Are the crews released or are they considered to be part of the stuffing in the recipe when the saucer is cooked? Or is the whole thing simply an exercise in “catch and release”?
Obviously, illegal aliens piloting these craft will be somewhat less than amused by such treatment, were they actually capable of amusement or any other emotion for that matter. The retaliation visited upon those who engage in such a sport would no doubt be horrific, spectacular and fatal. In the final analysis, it would be far safer to go hunting in Atlantis, a process which could be begun simply by purchasing an acre of land from the safety of your home! Leave UFO hunting to the witless, suicidal and foolhardy rubes amongst us and buy Atlantis instead! Hugh Mann