The Men from Atlantis Communiqués

Without a clear leader in the American Democratic party’s national popularity contest, will the democratic super-delegates finally have the wisdom and balls to end the embargo on Cuban Cigars. Without a clear majority of elected delegates, apparently the choice will fall to that ages-old mechanism, the smoke filled room. Democrats have not had the privilege to resort to this system since the sixties. Then there were probably enough Cuban cigars still in the country to allow the system to work with maximum efficiency. However, to make this procedure work today, a new surplus of Cuban Cigars must be allowed into the country.

With the recent promotion of Lil’ Bro to the head of the Cuban government, and the mere mention of reforms and improved relations, the time is ripe to import one of the few penultimate accomplishments of human civilization, the Cuban Cigar.

Since the Earth’s air breathers will surely never end the monopoly that Cuba continues to hold in production of this triumph of human ingenuity, it is time to open up all global markets to their intoxicating perfume, enticing taste and phallic connotations. I urge the Democratic party to act NOW! Open markets should be their pledge to the American Air Breathers. Should they fail to act with haste, they could end up choosing their candidate in a talentless American Idol competition in an environment dowsed with lower quality products, and therefore make a lower quality decision.

Further benefits to the entirety of surface dweller civilization will surely follow immediately, as the Zeta Reticulans will increase their presence and create a huge influx of galactic products. As active trade partners, Zeta Reticulans have within their powers to end the galactic embargo placed upon the surface dwellers because of America’s claims to be ‘The Global Superpower’. These claims have only served to languish the planet outside of galactic commerce with all its rights and privileges. America must step up and fulfill its own propaganda by making Cuban Cigars available to advanced civilization outside the tiny Milky Way. As an outpost on a lightly traveled trade route, this planet needs to maximize its attractiveness to willing trade partners. Free the Cuban Cigar from this embargo now.

Revisit your decision to purchase a deed to Atlantis. Your purchase will further extend the promise of membership in the inter-galactic community, and bring the benefits of inter-stellar trade closer to fruition.

Joe King