Buy Property in the Lost City of Atlantis
EXCLUSIVE! One Acre in the Noble District
Own property in the Legendary City of Atlantis
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It wasn’t that long ago that Hugh and I were low level bureaucrats, scribes, or more colloquially administrative assistants in the legal branch of our government. Although our positions had little real power, it did afford us visibility into how our government ran and the decisions with which the government dealt. We became aware of the scant attention being paid to our government’s decision to make large tracts of property available to only the very wealthy. We were outraged. As we snooped around, and compared notes, larger problems came to our attention.
Have you ever thought your government was completely off track and failing to provide even the most basic services to its citizens and residents? Ours had completely ignored the problems we faced, and had concerned itself with a single issue. Our leader, Poseidon the King of the Seas, in an effort to maintain control of the empire, had become so singly focused that war was at hand. Our efforts to avert this catastrophe led us to commit a crime (more on this later) that could only be construed as treasonous. It is a noble spirit though that leads us to come to you and ask for help. We truly seek to correct what we see as huge errors of judgment.
Overcome with rage over the destruction of our undersea civilization, Poseidon was on the verge of declaring war on all airbreathers. The damage that has been wrought on the seafloor, and indeed, the entirety of the seas, threatens our very existence. Our gilled brethren have been over fished. The seafloor has been torn asunder by drag net fishing. Unfathomable and deadly barrels have been dumped into our midst. And now we find the temperatures of our seas rising. All this caused by airbreathers. However, we decided that war was not the answer. We were determined to avert war, even at the risk of committing a treachery that our immortal leader, Poseidon, King of the Seas, might never forgive.
We stole the deeds that the government would use to sell property in the noble district of our fair city, Atlantis, to the rich so that our most wealthy would finance a war against the surface dwellers. We now have these, all ten thousand of them, and need to barter them to bankroll our solution to the problems that Atlantis faces. Our problems are grave, and it is this very danger that has forced us to choose this course of action.
Our betrayal didn’t end there. It was clearly premeditated. It was in the course of our duties, transcribing the important documents of our government, that we, lowly scribes that we be, changed clauses of government treaties, and contracts to favor us, Joe King and Hugh Mann. Documents now named us as the only lawful agents of property transfers throughout all the seas.
As this duplicity was discovered, we made off with the deeds and made our way from the sea itself to your lands. We traveled north until we found a large river. We followed it to its source in a far northern, and strange land called Minnesota (as far as we could get from the ocean and Poseidon's rage). We have disguised ourselves to look more similar to and blend in better with those that now surround us. We now seek to turn the deeds to Atlantis into the salvation of the oceans.
The deeds themselves are a marvel to behold. Large (almost 11 by 17 of your inches), beautiful in their ornateness, they transfer ownership of one acre of seafloor in the noble district of Atlantis to the purchaser.
“Are you for real?” you might be asking. And you’d be very right to wonder. Alas, the only proof I can offer is the deeds themselves. Given our predicament, we left with only the deeds and the clothes on our backs (well, okay, we left without clothes). Our goal, though, remains the same: to save the world!
We are certain that the surplus funds from the sale of these deeds can be used to better the treatment the seas receive from surface dwellers.
We pledge to see to it that the extra monies obtained from the sale of property in Atlantis will be given to what you call charities.
PS. Charities will be chosen for their ability to rectify the poor treatment the seas now receive. For among mankind there are those who perceive the value the seas have for life on the earth’s surface.
PPS. We will report back on a regular basis where and how much money has been given to these charities. Check here for these reports.
PPPS. Please give serious thought to helping us save the world with the purchase of one of these beautiful deeds to Atlantis.
PPPPS. Peruse our catalog of worthy charities. View and suggest others.